you're no good, you're no good, you're no good, you're no good

exexistential @ 2009-07-30T23:59:00

2009-07-31T03:59:59Z

south florida, you never fail to disappoint me.

exexistential @ 2009-03-25T20:00:00

2009-03-26T01:01:20Z

lol false alarm.

i'm not transferring.
thank jesus.

exexistential @ 2009-03-23T01:16:00

2009-03-23T06:17:12Z

i really enjoy reading about peoples' lives. people can be very open and honest. i just wish i could be that way with myself. i can't write very much about my life, because to be honest, i don't know what the fuck i am doing.

exexistential @ 2009-03-09T00:34:00

2009-03-09T04:35:30Z

i don't even know. there's a lot i need to say, but nothing i want to talk about.

exexistential @ 2009-01-25T20:38:00

2009-01-26T02:44:56Z

i'm officially a sorority girl.
pi beta phi.
don't make fun of me too much.

exexistential @ 2008-11-20T09:56:00

2008-11-20T16:01:27Z

http://exexistential.tumblr.com/

i use this and you should too.

yes, mono has led me to watching juno for the 100th time.

2008-10-29T20:06:32Z

"look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. the right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. that's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

such great heights.

2008-10-28T02:04:52Z

i had a lovely doctor's appointment today in which i discovered that i have contracted mono, and also that i have a heart murmur. however, it started snowing today.

ehh

2008-10-21T16:25:02Z

reasons my life is awesome:

+
+ i am probably moving to mccormick within the next week. this is where i wanted to live originally, and it is the best dorm on campus.

reasons my life is not awesome:
- my grades aren't great. i have a 3.0 right now, so i guess it's not that bad. I have two AB's, a B, and a C.
- my job is seriously the most boring, tedious work ever. especially if i run out of homework to do there. but i stay because i make a lot of money, and if i stay for two years i can probably get a supervising position my junior year. plus, i get a lot of free food and do a lot of homework i wouldn't do otherwise.

exexistential @ 2008-08-22T15:12:00

2008-08-22T20:15:00Z

i love college. and men. lots and lots of men.

oh p.s. i can't/won't ever be able to have sex in my bed because it's about a foot away from the ceiling and every morning i wake up i hit my head on it. i'm probably going to end up giving myself a concussion.

exexistential @ 2008-08-15T01:43:00

2008-08-15T05:48:41Z

i'm really awful at packing. i've somehow managed to put everything i don't need the next five days in a giant pile in the living room. i know i'm going to end up doing everything on tuesday night anyway, so there's not much of a point now.
it's not really hitting me that i'm leaving. i've been waiting all summer for this, but i really can't believe i only have 5 days left here.

where do you go when it gets dark?

2008-08-11T21:29:35Z

when you're talking to me, i can't breathe.

exexistential @ 2008-07-08T00:19:00

2008-07-08T04:27:31Z

'Believe it or not, I used to be idealistic.' I asked her what 'idealistic' meant. 'It means you live by what you think is right.' 'You don't do that anymore?' 'There are questions I don't ask anymore.'

long time, no long entry.

2008-06-15T05:25:30Z

it's kind of sad that i decided my roommate is awesome solely based upon the fact that grey's anatomy is one of her favorite shows.
anyways, my whole housing situation is a bit weird at marquette. their enrollment is higher than usual, so they had a lot of kids (i've heard numbers from 50 to 200), who did not get placed into dorms, these lucky children got put into sophomore dorms. so currently, and possibly permanently, i am placed in the western-most building of campus (which is an all sophomore dorm). i was really upset when i first found out, because i really had my heart set on this dorm in the middle of campus, so i was freaked out about being in a sophomore dorm. but now i have seen the light as to why this dorm is probably better: (a) older men (b) it used to be a hotel where the beatles stayed at (c) big rooms (d) private bathrooms (e) new furniture, beds already lofted (f) air conditioning.

i feel like everytime i go out lately, it's like the most random chance events keep happening. like if i didn't do one thing at this one specific moment, we wouldn't have done this, which led to this, etc. it's been a lot of fun actually.

i really keep thinking if i'm making the right choice to leave. i used to really feel like all of this was right for me, and now i'm wondering what the hell i'm going to do if it isn't. i just have a lot of doubts about leaving i guess.

oh and i'm saving up my money so i can buy a 3 g iphone that i definitely don't need. holllllllllla.

i am not young enough to know everything.

2008-06-07T14:24:56Z

i make no apologies for being who i am. if you don't like me, i can assure you i'm not exactly fond of you either.
high school's over, you should really chill the fuck out.

waiting for the hint of a spark.

2008-05-20T03:12:20Z

for a few moments, the world opens up to you. you feel empowered. you know exactly what you want to say and who you want to say it to. and then when the moment comes. the perfect moment to say everything you are and have been feeling, it goes away. the feeling that you can do anything. it goes away. and you are left exactly as you were before.

i just wish i could say exactly what i want to say at the precise moment that i want to say it.

no one gives a fuck about us.

2008-05-15T04:41:26Z

actively trying to choke down any sense of feeling.

the social security number.

2008-05-13T03:10:07Z

i've apparently been using the wrong social security number my entire life.
this means that i have applied to college with the wrong social, taken ap exams with the wrong social, and registered to vote with the wrong social.
what do i do?

exexistential @ 2008-05-07T23:08:00

2008-05-08T03:14:10Z

i feel better today than i have in easily a month.

two and a half more weeks of high school!

exexistential @ 2008-05-05T21:03:00

2008-05-06T01:11:10Z

at this point, i'd have to say that it is obvious i have no idea what i want.

exexistential @ 2008-04-28T22:19:00

2008-04-29T02:24:37Z

one of my mom's best friends son has been in iraq with the marines since labor day. there was a suicide bomber where he was stationed and their family heard about the attack and knew it was where he was. they thought he was dead. they've spent the past five days waiting for the marines to show up telling them he was dead.
thankfully, he is alive. he was 100 meters away from the blast, and was knocked over with minor injuries. a few guys he's been with there were killed or severely injured. he's in a high security place now and should be back in the U.S. within the next three weeks. they've been eating only mre's (meals ready to eat) for a week and he hasn't been sleeping. he's leaving the war with a suicide bombing as his last real memory.

i can't believe this happened to someone i know. i knew he was in iraq and i knew he was a marine. i knew he was fighting. but having this happen makes it real. i'm absolutely freaking out that this has happened. i really hope i can see him when he gets back.

i can't stop crying and i don't even know why. i can't even imagine how his family must feel.

exexistential @ 2008-04-27T15:20:00

2008-04-27T19:26:40Z

20 days left of high school.
thank god.

exexistential @ 2008-04-22T21:41:00

2008-04-23T01:47:44Z

what happened when i googled my cell phone number:

http://www.breakmeinc.com/?p=12

i guess it's a good thing he never called or i would be knocked up right about now.

one of the most intelligent things i've heard come out of a teenager's mouth

2008-04-13T15:54:11Z

"you can't compete with a liar"

live through this and you won't look back.

2008-04-07T03:54:49Z

I've never dropped anyone I believed in.